as long as you’re smiling

so this is it. it’s come to an end. so the awkwardness the past few days or weeks wasn’t just jesse being busy + vivian thinking too much. it was indeed, things brewing about.

although, i expected him to say something about it. but that’s alright. if he didn’t think it would’ve gone far, and being that it is long distance, plus considering we’ve never met… 3 months was plenty. 3 is my favorite number, a nice number. 3 months of cherishable memories created. (:

i guess you can say, we ended on good terms, & at least it isn’t a lost friendship.

although, i can’t say i’m not hurt. but it’s never easy. feeling heartbroken but blank and suffocating with mixed feelings. but one thought just keeps reoccuring now. & just that one thought.

i just want you to be happy.

i wish the dork the best in his future. & always wishing 1111 of happiness for you.

<3 princess – imu

~The End of the Lovely Fairytale~

busy prince

the prince is busy.

princess has lots on her mind. thinking she will just write it here tomorrow or sometime soon.

wonders if he still reads this, but probably not.

just wants a few minutes out of ur days,

- to ask “how’s your day going”

- “how was your sleep?”

- wake up in the morning to your text, & sleep at night to ur good nights

- get to randomly share random things from her day & hear about yours

but, does not want to “step” on your mood in anyway, at anytime,  accidentally

is your time completely used up to the max? am i asking for too much?

just curious. what would be best? if i leave blog posts about my day? until you’re done busying with RO over the holidays?

or … are we falling apart? & u just have nothing to say to me anymore, nor is my days of interest no more?

perhaps, i’m thinking too much.

it’s snowing.

it’s snowing, it’s pouring.

last night was the worst night ever. it felt so empty, alone, surrounded by darkness even with my rock light shining thru the room.

even tho the only one that replied my texts late at night was andi, but, i felt completely alone, from friends and everyone.

i felt like he walked out last night. just left. disappeared. it just felt that way.

like… i hit rock bottom, felt so down, as down as a bottomless pit would go.

empty. gone. afraid.

where were u when i had this horrible night of a real-life nightmare?

just looking for some warmth. or words. answers. anything.

afraid & doesn’t want to go to sleep. just hope tonight’s a better night.

cute foods ~

teehee.

ninja & turtles (awkward) say jesse.

bo luo bao turtle style

ninja egg ~

<3 princess

Peaceful nights

Sometimes. The simplest things are the most beautifullest.
Like tonight. Although we didn’t talk much, but I could almost feel your presence by my side.
N the little thing that made me want to write this post was just you saying “sleep well babe”. I smiled at that n it completes my day.
Thank you.
Thanks for also sharing the song. I couldn’t thank you enough. Everytime I need you now. I just think. You’re just one sky away ~
Love you dork.

all washed away?

(read the other one first =P if u haven’t) har. wow. it’s like you read my post without reading my post.

the dork just totally reassured me. & it meant a lot to me.

so what? i just have to put up with your mood swings? haha. perhaps i shall intoxicate you with some medication for it. but … i shall hang in there. cuz i know now. i know , that you love me. =)

i’m so silly. tearing up from joy & love. you ! gah. put me on a roller coaster of emotions within the last 2-3 months man. whenever i feel like everything is wrong & all is about to end, you reassure me. n put me right back into your arms. n i’m glad you told me, that you love me, even when you’re angry at me, that you’re trying to subdue your mood… because at least now, i’ll know. even tho i seem to step on all the time bombs when you’re in a bum mood. but as long as you still want me. i’ll still be right here. … here… in edmonton. hahah =P

i <3 you.

lost&unsure.

some thoughts… (re-posted from strawberli3)

i thought he was the one. n i hoped and wished that maybe he was. i tried n worked to make things work out. but somehow, things just don’t seem to be getting better =’(  . do fairytales really exist? cuz i’m obviously not living in one.

i feel like i’m overtrying at this point, trying to hold onto whatever i can… and it seems almost meaningless now, no matter how bad i want it to work. nothing seems to be moving, uphill or down… but rather just him fading away. at the very least i want is to stay friends IF the worst happens.

i really don’t know what he feels anymore. “i’m really easily bothered by you” … are you hinting this is the way you feel? … are you hinting that things aren’t working out? or are you just saying this is a little obstacle that we can overcome?

i think i’m creating more frustration for him & that’s not what i want…, and it seems like …every time i talk to him, every thing i say is a time bomb, one will bound to explode within the conversation n just rub him the wrong way. n then the conversation will just die.

it just seems that it’s been like one day you’re all “hi hunny” & the next… you’re “meh’ … is it just the winter? or is it actually me?

i don’t want to be the one that ruins his day. i am always wishing that he’s happy. enjoying himself. and always smiling. n i wish i could be the one that he’d think of when he’s down. that could just be there to make him smile, or share his problems with him.

i’m lost.hopeless.wishing.hoping.unsure.sad…&heartbroken.

[edit]

i don’t want to let go. i really don’t, but you do, please say so. please dork, tell me what  you want… i just want u to be happy & hopefully, us to exist. *hopes =9

written by a guy ~

just a random note i found on someone’s fb that was kute.

We guys don’t care if you talk to other guys. We don’t care if you’re friends with other guys. But when you’re sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off. It doesn’t help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we’re still there. We don’t care if a guy calls >OR TEXTS< you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned. Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. That it can’t wait till the morning

Also, when we tell you you’re pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/

cute/stunning, we freaking mean it. Don’t tell us we’re wrong We’ll stop trying to convince you. The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.

Yeah, you can quote me.Don’t be mad when we hold the door open.

Take Advantage of the mood I’m in.Let us pay for you! Don’t ‘feel bad’ We enjoy doing it.It’s expected.Smile and say ‘thank you

Kiss us when no one’s watching.If you kiss us when you know somebody’s looking,we’ll be more impressed.

You don’t have to get dressed up for us If we’re going out with you in the first place, you don’t have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.We like you for who you are and not what you are.Honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she’s just in her pj’s.or my T-shirt and boxers, not all dolled up.

Don’t take everything we say seriously. Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.

Don’t get angry easily. Stop using magazines/media as your bible. Don’t talk about how hot Chris Brown, Brat Pitt, or Jesse McCartney in front of us. It’s boring, and we don’t care. You have girlfriends for that.

Whatever happened to the word ‘handsome’/'beautiful’? I’d be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with ‘Hey handsome!’ instead of ‘Hey baby/stud/cutie/sexy’ or whatever else you can think of.

On the other hand I’m not saying i wouldn’t like it ether

Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren’t being treated right by a guy, don’t wait for him to change! Ditch his sorry ass, disgrace to the male population and find someone who will treat you with utter respect.

Someone who will honor your morals
Someone who will make you smile when you’re at your lowes
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
Someone who will stop what they’re doing just to look you in the eyes….and say ‘i love you’ ..and actually mean it.

Give the nice guys a chance.

Guys re-post this if you agree.
Girls re-post this if you think it’s cute.

-Every Guy who isn’t a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the girls that read this will re-post this

ADVICE:

*Holding Hands
Girls :If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of
times

*Movies
Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder
Guys : Lift her chin up and kiss her.

*Loving each other
Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too… And mean it

*Laying below the stars
Girls : When you’re both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat
Guys : Whisper in her ear and link your hands with her.

And Boys. If you like a girl, just TELL THEM. There’s nothing to be afraid of. And if you don’t , you’ll regret it your whole life. They might just like you back, take that chance , its worth it !

-Girls re-post as: written by a guy
-Guys re-post as: girls need to realise

-If someone realy realy loves u and u break up, he or she will come back for u! czz thts the beautiful part of True love!

happy birthday prince dork !

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !

SO ! it’s the dork’s birthday, so i hope everyone’s sending him their birthday wishes. he is a BIG 2-0 !

big 2-0 !

hey ! expect a very belated bday package ^^

gift gift gift ^^ haha if only it was so pretty

i hope that you have a wonderful birthday and a wonderful year !

xoxo princess.

 

asking one question, goes a long way.

wow. i just realized something that if you ask one little question, you’ll be surprised by how much you find out.  i was just talking to a patient today, and i simply asked her “what are you here for?” and she basically told me everything.  n just talking to a peer, i realized, i found out a lot from that one little question.

then again, you have to be specific too. because my peer was also talking about how she hates it when a person asks “tell me about you” … cuz WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU WANT TO KNOW? there are just a billion possibilities.  (that makes me want to listen to possibilities – by sierra noble ..

i was just skimming over some of the old entries, and the silly little pictures that i put it. even though it’s only been two short months, it seems like we did go a long way, reminiscing of our future, & me always daydreaming of how it’d be like to meet the prince. the stupid, silly posts also make me miss you that much more… i thought they were all really cute little things … i don’t want things to end here just like this but if it must be, then i don’t know what to say.

cannot think anymore. hope your day went well.