some thoughts… (re-posted from strawberli3)

i thought he was the one. n i hoped and wished that maybe he was. i tried n worked to make things work out. but somehow, things just don’t seem to be getting better =’(  . do fairytales really exist? cuz i’m obviously not living in one.

i feel like i’m overtrying at this point, trying to hold onto whatever i can… and it seems almost meaningless now, no matter how bad i want it to work. nothing seems to be moving, uphill or down… but rather just him fading away. at the very least i want is to stay friends IF the worst happens.

i really don’t know what he feels anymore. “i’m really easily bothered by you” … are you hinting this is the way you feel? … are you hinting that things aren’t working out? or are you just saying this is a little obstacle that we can overcome?

i think i’m creating more frustration for him & that’s not what i want…, and it seems like …every time i talk to him, every thing i say is a time bomb, one will bound to explode within the conversation n just rub him the wrong way. n then the conversation will just die.

it just seems that it’s been like one day you’re all “hi hunny” & the next… you’re “meh’ … is it just the winter? or is it actually me?

i don’t want to be the one that ruins his day. i am always wishing that he’s happy. enjoying himself. and always smiling. n i wish i could be the one that he’d think of when he’s down. that could just be there to make him smile, or share his problems with him.

i’m lost.hopeless.wishing.hoping.unsure.sad…&heartbroken.

[edit]

i don’t want to let go. i really don’t, but you do, please say so. please dork, tell me what  you want… i just want u to be happy & hopefully, us to exist. *hopes =9

Advertisement